


Favorite

by Ceeninja



Category: The Rook (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 09:56:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20794754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceeninja/pseuds/Ceeninja
Summary: Myfanwy has questions about how Gestalt works.





	Favorite

"So do you have a favorite?" Myfanwy asked innocently one day as they ate lunch in Gestalt's office. It was just Myfanwy and Eliza, the other parts of them off in the field.

"What?" Gestalt responded, utterly dumbfounded.

Myfanwy popped a candy in her mouth from the bowl on Gestalt's desk. "Do. You have. A favorite." She repeated, chewing around the confection.

"A favorite what?" they asked again.

"A favorite body."

Gestalt laughed. "That's like having a favorite arm. Why would I?"

"Nah, totally different. Like, I know you were forced to compartmentalize and create separate personalities for each body, which was barbaric of them, by the way," she said with barely concealed disdain. "but even when you can be just you, there are things you prefer to do with one body and not the others." 

Gestalt paused and thought for a moment. It was true, they realized. They only cooked with Robert, Eliza was the body that danced the most, and they used Alex to play the piano.

They shrugged. "I suppose there is a level of naturally occurring differences, physically, that make it easier to do certain things with certain bodies. Even without the Chequey stepping in, I've always assumed I would have learned how to multitask. Otherwise what good is it to have four bodies if they can't do separate things?"

Myfanwy tilted her head in thought. "Yeah. Suppose you would have. Especially how to filter out pain input."

"Well, I can't get rid of the sensations entirely, I just...."

"Compartmentalize."

"Exactly."

"Still, they didn't have to do it the way they did. Like you were a lab rat in some experiment, instead of a scared child who needed help. They were training you to be a weapon, not a functioning person." Myfanwy replied, her hands balled into fists at her side.

Gestalt stood from their desk and walked around to stand next to Myfanwy. They placed Eliza's slender hand in Myfanwy's. "Myf, are you okay? I don't mind you asking questions, I know that you're relearning everything, and I'm glad you're curious, but why the sudden anger at my upbringing?"

"Because it was terrible, Gestalt!" She blurted out. "When I first lost my memory, I went looking for answers, and I found this video on the internet. It was you, as a child. You couldn't have been older than six." Myfanwy squeezed Eliza's hand so hard for a moment Gestalt was worried it would break.

"I dunno, it was just...hard to watch. And I didn't even have context, like I do now. I know it's necessary, the work we do here, I've seen first hand what happens to EVAs not under our protection. It's why I stayed."

Gestalt tried not to be hurt by the fact that she hadn't stayed for them. "But?"

"But I can't help but agree on some level with the Resistance." She whispered, taking her hand back from Eliza's grasp. "Taking children from their families, never to see them again? That's not the answer. There has to be a compromise."

"You've been talking to Bronwyn again." Gestalt guessed. "Look," they said kindly, but with firmness. "Your family, the families outside protesting, they're exceptions. The vast majority of the kids we take in either have no family, or their family wants nothing to do with them. It's tragic, for the families that do care, but we can't change the rules for a select few."

Some of the fight in Myfanwy's eyes dimmed. "And which were you?" She asked softly.

"What do you mean?"

"Did you have a family?" Myfanwy asked.

Gestalt stopped. All four bodies let out a shaky breath. It almost gave away Robert's position tailing a target, and Teddy tripped over his own feet. They hated how Myfanwy could rattle them with a simple question.

"Gestalt?"

They refocused themselves to their tasks will only a small amount of difficulty. Eliza brought her thumb to her mouth and began biting. Myfanwy grabbed her wrist gently and pulled it away.

Gestalt avoided her gaze.

"I was with my mother until I was six." they finally answered. "Then, after she realized she didn't have four children with overactive imaginations and attachment issues, but one child with a bizarre EVA, the Checquey took me in." they paused, not sure if they wanted to continue.

Myfanwy rubbed soothing circles into Eliza's hand with her thumb, and Gestalt relaxed a bit.

"You don't have to tell me, or, tell me again, if you don't want to." Myfanwy said.

Gestalt shook their head. "No, I want to. It's just...hard. I never told you before."

Myfanwy gave them a small smile and continued to hold Eliza's hand. "Take your time."

"She wanted nothing to do with me. Just dropped me off without a backwards glance, or explanation." Gestalt said, throat tight. They tucked their hair behind their ear and swallowed thickly. Across town, in a thankfully empty parking lot, Alex began to cry.

"So that's when I realized I was fucked up. Six years old." they laughed, but there was no humor in it. "Before that, I didn't even notice. That's just how it was. Christ, I can't even imagine having only one set of eyes and arms and legs. That's totally foreign to me."

Myfanwy wordlessly pulled them into a hug. Gestalt was very grateful it was Eliza that was with her. That body was almost the same size as Myfanwy, and they let themselves feel protected in her arms, when usually it was the other way around. Myfanwy ran her fingers through their hair and murmured nonsensical sounds in their ear and it was the safest they'd ever felt.

"Gestalt, you're not fucked up." She said softly. "Well, no more than the rest of us."

Gestalt chuckled into her shoulder, breathing in the scent of rose oil. They took a steadying breath. Myfawny gently pushed Eliza back and swiped at the wetness on her cheeks, just as Alex dried his own tears. 

"To answer your question." Gestalt began, "My favorite body is the one that's with you."

The blush that ran down Myfanwy's cheeks was the best thing they'd seen all day.


End file.
